I skipped work to stalk him.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
