AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
