She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
