he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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