he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
