She announced her abortion via fbk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
