super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
