No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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