Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
