BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize