Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
