Welp...herpes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You have to summon your inner elephant
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
