You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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