he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
