Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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