I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just pee around me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize