I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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