We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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