Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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