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I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
