"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
3 2 1 whiskey
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
