i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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