ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
