i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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