evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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