I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
