I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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