Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize