There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
