It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
