i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize