I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize