i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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