STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
