Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
