hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
