Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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