Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
