dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
