her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
