gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
