If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
