You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize