Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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