I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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