I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
