Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
