Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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