Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
