she was so not down for the gang bang
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
