We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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