awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
