Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
