Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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