I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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