My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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