So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
