its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
