Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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