evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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