Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
