My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
