fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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