My first STD was from a foam party
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
