I wannas sexs uuuuu
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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