i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
