who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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