I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
tell me about the fingering
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