I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
