the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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