new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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