You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
