I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
