Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think my vagina is haunted
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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