why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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