Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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